Designing a Life I Love
by Danae Pugh
I am often presented with a version of the question “How do you do it all?”.
I’m a mom of two beautiful girls, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and I like to think that I’m a good friend. I work a full-time job (sometimes 11 hours a day) and my latest achievement has been the start of my interior design business— The Stay Haven.
It’s a lot. I get through it all with a bunch of prayer and coffee.
There is no perfect balance to life. No matter how hard I try, one aspect of my life always takes precedence over another. For a long time, it was my career was the center of my focus. I put a lot of effort into being a top performer which paid off in some ways. I was promoted and received several awards and recognition from my leaders; but, my home life suffered. I gave so much of myself at work that I had nothing left for my family, friends, and, most importantly, nothing left for me. I spent years giving my job all of my energy and focus. My life needed a shift; I knew that shift would only happen if I dedicated more time for myself.
In 2019, I developed a list of goals. This list looked different than it did in previous years---it had nothing to do with career success or monetary goals. This reinvented list of goals was focused on my healing. I made a commitment to set aside time to refuel and recharge, and to reconnect with something that bought me immense joy, making my home a place of peace, love, and celebration. I knew that self-care would be beneficial to me and the people with whom I interact.
In my daily life, I give my family and home 1000%. Instead of putting energy into compartmentalizing each part of my life, I brought them together. There were so many times where my love for design, my ambition at work, and my commitment to my family and friends could co-exist beautifully. Now, I focus on making seemingly insignificant daily occurrences, special and unique. Instead of waiting for holidays to use the “good dishes”, I bring them out for meals at home. My children’s birthday parties are what some may consider over the top, I host theme parties (pre-COVID) and immerse myself in every detail to give my guests an experience unlike any other. When creating a virtual learning space for my 9-year-old daughter, I was intentional about hearing her out, in true partnership, on what she wanted from a learning space. She loved what I created, and I was able to feed my own excitement around imagining something as fashionable as it is functional.
Making the ordinary extraordinary is my thing, and giving my family and my home all of me is what fulfills me. This passion for creating peaceful, beautiful, and relaxing spaces is what motivated me to create The Stay Haven. Curating and decorating beautiful spaces and creating memorable experiences is what fuels my soul. Interior design and lifestyle branding are my loves, but the creative process involved with both can be exhausting. This is where I knew implementing a self-care routine would play a crucial role.
Self-care isn’t just this “Millennial obsession”; it’s essential. For years, I felt guilty about taking the time to do things for me for fear of being viewed as selfish. I’m a mom and a wife; so, the world made me believe that my life was no longer about me. The re-framing of my life and simply dedicating time to take a bath in solitude (and be alone with my thoughts and ideas) allowed me to re-enter the world feeling rejuvenated and restored. It allowed me to soak it all in.
Danae Pugh is Founder and Chief Creative Officer of The Stay Haven. She specializes in elevating the everyday. She was born and raised in Philadelphia. She and her husband love spending time with their two daughters.